As a coach, leader, husband, father and friend I am privileged to daily have the opportunity to be asked to help people or just listen to them talk about what challenging them.
Whether the subject is about training, nutrition, relationships, recovery, work, school, or life in general, I am always amazed by a common theme from my fellow humans. There is a constant searching for next phase, thing, or result. Like children asking “ARE WE THERE YET”, adults constantly ask “WHEN”.
WHEN is the next level of training going to be doable? WHEN can I change my nutrition? WHEN will I get that promotion? WHEN will life get better? WHEN will I get what I want? WHEN will I change?
When any of my charges asks me any of the questions above or a myriad of seemingly endless similar questions, I have come to translate their phrases in my head to the following no matter what phrase is used.
What they are really asking is this – “WHEN will this “thing” no longer be hard?”
They are seeking what is called the “velvet rut”. It’s nice, but the comfort tricks you into thinking that you’re not stuck in the same place without growth. And its where most people end up one way or another. These are generally the people who are dissatisfied and don’t really know why.
I have got some news for you, life never stops being HARD. That’s the point – and the sooner you accept and truly internalize that – the more unique and amazing your life has the potential to become.
Lately at StoneCutter there has been a lot of talk about the “Process”, Logan Gelbrich’s “Going Right”, recovery, our core values, and how we must guard our core values relentlessly during that growth. All of those things are never ending and evolving tools in this fight
Whether its nutrition, self-improvement, training, helping others, or morning the loss of a friend or community member who didn’t value our standards and community, the journey will not get easier.
As you improve, be it at measuring your vegetables, communicating with your spouse, nasal breathing, or learning to accept those different from you, life will automatically level up the difficulty as your skills improve.
This is the way of adaptation. Its never ending.
But guess what? There is a small secret I will share. Instead of asking WHEN? as life levels up, ask these three questions instead:
- Am I a good person? (Simply asking this of yourself means you are on the path)
- How can I learn and adapt to better accept the challenge in front of me?
- How can I help the person in front of me, right now, be better?
That last one is the hardest, particularly when your life is hard, but its where the magic is. More to come….
See you on the floor.
@joshuadvik